46: Why it's a good sign if someone crosses their legs

If you cross your legs, you show confidence and comfort. Find out why from Joe Navarro in his book what everybody is saying.

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welcome to the bite size sales podcast where we believe that sales is the most important team and a B2B company that the sales team deserves great sales skills training but usually doesn't get it and that taking bite-size steps each day to get better at your craft is the best way to improve results. I am your host, Andrew Monahan and I'm using my experiences in B2B sales to bring you simple actionable ideas every day to help you get better.

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welcome to episode 46 of the podcast and the final one for 2019 big thank you to everyone who supported the launch of this podcast at the end of this year and look forward to interacting with you more. Going to 2020 so for today's episode, let me ask you a question. Have you ever seen two people chatting, standing, chatting, and they both had their legs crossed while they're standing there and then you see two other people standing next to each other and chatting. But their legs are planted firmly apart , uh , and in place. This actually says a lot about how comfortable the are. Each of these couples are with each other and it makes sense when it's all explained by Joe Navarro in what every body is saying and this is book what everybody is saying and Joe is an ex, a FBI agent who is an expert on nonverbal communication so to read straight from the book, careful observation of the legs and feet can help you determine how comfortable you are around somebody else and vice versa. Leg crossing is a particularly accurate barometer of how of how comfortable we feel around another person. We don't use it if we feel uncomfortable. We also cross our legs in the presence of others when we are confident and confidence is part of comfort. Let's examine why this is such an honest and revealing behavior. When you cross one lag in front of the other while standing, you reduce your balance significantly. From a safety standpoint, if there were a real threat, you can either freeze very easily nor runaway because in that stance you are basically balanced on one foot. For this reason. The limbic brain allows us to perform this behavior only when we feel comfortable or confident. If a person is standing by herself in an elevator with one leg crossed over the other, she will immediately uncross your legs and plant both feet firmly on the floor. When a stranger steps into the elevator, this is a sign that limbic brain is saying you can't take any chances. You may have to deal with a potential threat or problem. Now, so put both feet firmly on the ground. When I see two colleagues talking to each other and they both have the legs crossed, I know they are comfortable with each other first. This shows a mirroring of behaviors between two individuals and second, because leg crossing is a high comfort display. This led cross nonverbal can be used in interpersonal relationships to let the other person know that things are good between the two of you, so good in fact that you can afford to relax totally around the individual leg crossing then becomes a great way to communicate a positive sentiment. Here's an interesting feature of leg crossing. We usually do it subconsciously in favor of the person we like the most. In other words, we cross our legs in such a way so that we tilt toward the person we favor. This can provide some interesting revelations, drew family gatherings in families in which there are multiple children. It's not unusual to have a parent reveal a preference for one child over another by crossing legs so that the tilt toward the child they favor and that's read straight from the book what everybody is saying by Joe Navarro. Now not least, this is going to be useful in the holiday period when you're trying to assess whether your parents love you more than uh , the, your, your, your siblings. But , uh, anyway, in the business sense, I think you could probably put this under the heading, things that are so obvious now that you know them that , uh, you know what to look forward . It makes perfect sense. And if you think about it, it's all around us. Uh, I bet in the office today , uh, the store, if you're going to shop in anywhere around you, you'll see it. Um, you know, an interesting thing, I was looking, I was reading this, this book and at the same time for whatever reason I was thinking about music and you know, two bands that I , I loved the music of. One is a Springsteen in the East street band and the second one is the British band Oasis from the late nineties, early two thousands and you couldn't get two bands are more different and their love for each other or lack of it in the case of Oasis, I think the East street band or you know, good friends they get on well they, they joke around on stage , um, Springsteen holes into a very high standard, but they , they seem to enjoy each other's presence and company Oasis on the other hand are notorious for arguing all the time. And in fact it led to the breakup of the band in the early two thousands. The two brothers, Liam and no Gallaher were always fighting. The bandmates were getting fired. New ones are coming in. It was a very dysfunctional discontent environment. Do yourself a quick favor and do a quick search on images for East street band and then do one for Oasis. And you'll see what I mean by, you know, even stage shots, the E street band, they've got their legs crossed, they're hanging at , you know, they see them relax, arms, cross, legs , cross, things like that. And in Oasis's case, they're all stand there with their feet planted, firmly staring at the camera like they hate life, right? And just look at how they're using their feet in each of those situations. Now I know these photos are staged, but it just seems to really mirror what real life is like for both of those bands. So back, back to the real world in selling, you know, I would practice observing this. These legs signs were observing what goes on around about you and see if you can start reading social interactions where one-on-one people are crossing their legs or not. And also maybe in a group where someone is trusting the legs towards another person, which is maybe their , their more favored , um, person in that group. So practice getting used to written leg signs.

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The episode is sponsored by unstoppable dot du . Most sales teams are not trained effectively the skills and mindset they deserve, and these are the most important people in the company. It's no wonder that only about 50% of reps make quarter every year. Unstoppable is a service that helps sellers and leaders get great at the skills and mindset they need without taking time out of the field. It exists because if the sales team has the right skills and mindset, they thrive, they are confident and the performance

much better. Find out more and even get a free sales book@bitesizesales.com

no to wrap up as Emma Coker global sales enablement manager and national instruments may or may not have one say training without implementation is just entertainment and preparer entertainment when Monaghan does it. So make sure you take action on what you learn and keep getting better every day. This world does not need more sales BS, so don't create anymore . Be great at the fundamentals. Be honest, be real. Be yourself. Just do not BS . And finally, I'm setting off as the great Joe Sexton would by saying, gone to sell

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